I'm not crazy

I’m not crazy I swear.

I just get a little upset sometimes. I mean finding some random girl in bed with your girlfriend can really mess you up. That level of pain warrants a little bit of a breakdown right? Granted it may have been a little overboard to try and burn her house down, but I was in love with her. I’m still in love with her. And she tore my heart out and burned it to the ground, so why should I not do the same to her? And it’s not like she was inside the house when I lit the match, or that I actually burned down her home. I just smashed a couple of windows and slashed a few tires. Nothing that a couple hundred dollars of repairs couldn’t fix. So it’s basically like nothing even happened.

I’m not crazy I swear.

I just get a little sad sometimes. I mean every girl has their own Britney 2007 moment. Some dye their hair and down a pint of rocky road. I do the same, but the train doesn’t stop there. Sometimes I just need to hole up in a corner and just alternate between crying and feeling nothing for days. I can’t move, I can’t sleep, I can’t even fucking pee. Everything in me just stops, my blood turns to molasses, and the synapses in my brain slow to a halt. And after what she did, I’m pretty sure I deserve a me day, or week.

I’m not crazy I swear.

I just get a little angry sometimes. The pain of betrayal runs deep and I should not be held accountable for my actions if others perceive they go too far. It’s not my fault if I go overboard every once in a while. I don’t quite remember everything that happened that led me to this moment. But all I know is that she’s dead and they think I killed her. The murder weapon was my knife, she was found in my car, and my fingerprints are all over the crime scene.

I’m not crazy I swear.

I just forget things sometimes. And who’s to say it really is my fault?