11 Days

Day 4

Did you know the human body can technically last 11 days without sleep? I mean after 72 hours all kinds of wack stuff starts happening and you feel this overwhelming urge to just lie down constantly but in theory you can fight that with some caffeine-induced mania. So all you need is the human race’s favorite legal drug and you can have 264 non-stop hours of productivity. I mean why waste time sleeping when there’s so much to do? There is one downside though. The hallucinations. I read that they could be as bad as the people with sleep paralysis. Demons in your closet, conversations that never happened, the dead come back to life. You know, just your average Tuesday. All I know is that the whispers are getting louder and I keep seeing her. She’s getting clearer now and I’m starting to get worried. Because that girl I see around every corner? She’s me.

Day 6

Hysteria – a psychological disorder (not now regarded as a single definite condition) whose symptoms include conversion of psychological stress into physical symptoms (somatization), selective amnesia, shallow volatile emotions, and overdramatic or attention-seeking behavior. The term has a controversial history as it was formerly regarded as a disease specific to women.

Now ignoring the really fucked up and misogynistic parts of that definition. I’m pretty confident that that’s exactly what I’m going through. “Crazy” just doesn’t seem to cover it. Every time I experience some semblance of peace in my own home she comes back. I can feel her presence, lurking around every corner, burning through my soul with her stare. No one believes me when I see her, but I know she’s there. Watching me. My mother just laughs whenever I speak of it. My father threatens to beat the delirium out of me. And he may be right. I could just pretend like none of this is happening. Because that girl that has been following me like a shadow? She’s me.

Day 9

Subject 1 seems to be functioning at 25% capacity. Hallucinations appear to be at their highest rate. Currently cannot separate the difference between reality and illusions. Still maintaining a healthy diet, and the subtle shocks to the system to prevent sleep are still undetected. Lethargy has increased as the days have continued. Subject’s current routine only consists of sitting, drinking caffeine, and the occasional meal. Expected time of death: 52 hours.

Subject 2 is rapidly declining in the current simulation. Perhaps the father figure was coded to be too aggressive. Taking the appearance of Subject 1 through the glass harder with each day. Presently has retreated to the corner of the room and continues to mutter to herself. Simulated comfort is no longer effective. Complete decline to mania anticipated in 32 hours.

Day 11

You know that I don’t even remember why I was staying up in the first place? I don’t remember anything besides these past eleven days. I can’t see anything past three feet in front of me, and all I want to do is collapse, but something is stopping me. She hasn’t been around for two days and I almost miss her. Now I’m just alone in this cloud of haze and the twinkling lights. Even the quiet is deafening. The buzz of the molecules in the air hitting each other is a constant drumbeat backing this torture. Whatever I’ve been doing all this time must be done. The haze is getting thicker as it moves towards me. Now I can’t see anything but darkness, and I can finally rest.